CASUAL FRIDAY

Why hello, dear blog. It's been some time. I got kind of thrown off by the holiday weekend, and you know, here it is, Thursday night. But guess what blogosphere? It's gonna be all better because tomorrow is CASUAL FRIDAY!!!!!!!! Yes, that is right.

GRRRRR, oh, by the way, my roommate is currently watching the democratic debate between Obama and Hillary. May I just say that I HATE OBAMA!!!!! Perhaps it is because I am a radical lesbian feminist and detest all heterosexual males. Perhaps it is because Hillary is a FIERCE POLITI-BOT FROM THE FUTURE!!!!! Or perhaps it is because Barack Obama is creepy as fuck. What the fuck was that "Obama is hot" viral video girl smoking, snorting and/or licking?? Barack is terrifying looking.


EWWWWW!!!! NOT HOT!!!!!! He looks like Alfred E. Newman or something. Definitely a touch of the Alfred E. Newman. Furthermore, I get this definite vibe from Obama that he's like some villain from Scooby Doo in a rubber mask and that if I were to pull of his mask I would discover Dick Cheney and he would go, "I would've got away with it, too, if it weren't for you--pesky kid!!!" [since it's just me it's just "kid" instead of "kids"] And then I'd mumble something about the Kyoto Protocol and a laugh track would kick in...


Imagine that this is a picture of me, dressed as Charles Nelson Reilly, unmasking Barack Obama!!!!! Seriously though, as a gay man I feel so disenfranchised by the American political system that I could really care less about the election. I have this mentality that's like, "if I've suffered through 8 years of George W. Bush I can suffer through anything." That is why, if Barack Obama wins the democratic party nomination, I am voting for McCain! Out of pure spite!!!! I think it's BULLSHIT that Hillary gets all this fucking flack just because she's a woman. It disgusts me that in the year 2008 there is still this mentality amongst men AND WOMEN that a powerful and assertive woman is a "bitch" and a powerful and assertive man is just being a man. GRRRRR!!!! You'll all be sorry when Hillary calls upon her LEGION OF ROBOTS FROM THE FUTURE to usher in THE APOCOLYPSE when she doesn't win!!!!!!!!


This photo is NOT a joke!!! It is NOT mean to be funny. It is meant to TERRIFY YOU. I'm serious--as a robot whisperer I know what's up. This is what the earth will look like if Hillary doesn't win:


BUT DON'T WORRY. Because tomorrow is CASUAL FRIDAY!!! Yes, the large apparel retail-ish company I work for implemented a casual Friday program last December. It is very exciting. It is one day a week when all can wear jeans and frolic as though instead of being trapped in cubicles for eight-ish hours we are prancing through an enchanted forest like a Spring '08 Prada model. BTW, if you haven't watched this video, WATCH IT NOW!!! IT IS RIDICULOUS! [click trembled blossoms]


Just a taste of the ridiculousness!!! BTW--Also my VERY FIRST screen capture (thanks to Jean Hsu!). OK, so back to casual Friday. So, every week I make it a point to get all excited about casual Friday. So on Tuesday I'm like, "T-minus four days to CASUAL FRIDAY Ya'll!!!!." And on Wednesday I'm like, "It may be hump day... but it's not CASUAL FRIDAY!!!" And on Thursday I'm like, "OMG guys, CASUAL FRIDAY IS TOMORROW!!! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING??? DO YOU HAVE AN OUTFIT PLANNED??" And on Friday I'm like, "IT'S CASUAL FRIDAY!!! YAY!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!" From these reactions you might infer that I REALLY ENJOY casual Friday. Well YOU WOULD BE WRONG!!!!! I only appreciate casual Friday for it's pure kitsch value. Furthermore, as kitsch, casual Friday is actually SINISTER and OPPRESSIVE. But before I get into that, I must say that a hilarious casual Friday behavior I observed was one co-worker (who will remain nameless) blatantly trying to check out people's asses by commenting on the jeans they were wearing. For example, said co-worker was all like, "Hey J-----, nice Sevens!!!" and "Hey S------, are those Joe's??" FOR THE RECORD, I only wear very plain and simple jeans because I have eschewed symbols of wealth and status such as HIDEOUS EMBROIDERY ON THE POCKETS OF DENIM PANTS. Here is a hilarious casual Friday picture:


BUT DON'T LAUGH TOO MUCH AT THIS PICTURE THAT HAS THE CAPTION "Latesha ruined casual Friday for everyone" BECAUSE AS I PREVIOUSLY STATED CASUAL FRIDAY IS SINISTER AND OPPRESSIVE.

As I've said before, the concept of "casual Friday" is an example of "workplace kitsch." Now, to borrow liberally (or literally, perhaps) from Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being:

...the aesthetic ideal of the categorical agreement with being is a world in which shit is denied and everyone acts as though it did not exist. This aesthetic ideal is called kitsch. ...kitsch is the absolute denial of shit, in both the literal and the figurative senses of the word; kitsch excludes everything from its purview which is essentially unacceptable in human existence.

To poorly paraphrase, kitsch is what one might refer to as an "opiate of the masses" (like Marx's religion) used to numb and oppress us. Religion, a system of beliefs, anesthetizes humankind to how shitty life is. Kitsch, not a belief system, acts in the same way by functioning as an aesthetic ideal. For example, the Soviets used "Soviet Kitsch" (e.g. May Day parades) to enforce their totalitarian rhetoric and make their citizens think about said "kitsch" instead of things like their horrible economic state and lack of civil liberties. Here is some delicious soviet kitsch:


As you can see, workplace kitsch works in much the same way. Instead of focusing on things like "my shitty paycheck" or "the fact that I have to work ten hour days without overtime," I focus on "what jeans am I going to wear tomorrow?" If my EVIL corporation really wanted to do me a fucking favor they'd make Friday so motherfucking casual that I didn't have to go into the office at all.



ETHICAL DISCLAIMER (just in case anyone in HR is reading this): It's not that my corporation is EVIL, per say, it's just that I view capitalism as EVIL, and all corporations, as EVIL arms of capitalism, thus must also be EVIL.